My British Lit teacher tells me every time I write a paper that the biggest problem is my thesis. (I'm not sure I agree, but that's not the point.) So, getting started is usually the hard part for me.
My paper revolves around printing in French-speaking Europe in the 15th to 18th century. My thesis, as of present, is thus:
The French-speaking world’s less-developed printing system in comparison to that of other Western European powers was a result of several political and economic disadvantages with which it was faced during the rise of the printing press in Western Europe.
Now, I have a slight issue with this. Does describing their printing system as "less-developed" make sense or does it seem inappropriately vague? It makes sense in my head because I know what I'm going to go on to talk about in my paper, but the lack of almost any specificity in my thesis seems a little undesirable in my mind...
Comments?
P.S. I apparently found out how to double-space part of my post. I'm not sure how to change it back to single-spaced, though, so I apologize if anyone else has OCD issues reading this because I kind of did...
My initial reaction to your thesis is simply this: it would be entirely more clear (at least to me) if you divided it into two sentences, or utilized a semicolon. Also, similar to your comment on my thesis, you could further explain "less-developed" earlier in your intro paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alex's comment. I would be more specific in describing less developed and perhaps go into slightly more detail on your main points for your thesis.
ReplyDeleteI realize the ship has kind of sailed for more constructive criticism, but this was what I went with:
ReplyDeleteThe lesser quantity of printed material in the French language during the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries compared to that of other Western European languages in the same period was a result of several internal and external political, economic, and religious disadvantages with which French-speaking peoples were faced during the rise of the printing press in Western Europe.
It's still kind of long (actually a bit longer), but I kind of like long sentences, so it is long; still, I think it's organized so that it runs smoothly enough and makes sense. I clarified "less-developed" to mean that really, there was less of it because I realized that's what I was saying in my paper anyway. I didn't expand on the specifics of my "factors" any more than I did because it is, of course, in my paper, but also because I'm- er- "pushing" the word limit. (It's barely under 1,000 if we don't count the header... and the bibliography...)
Thanks both of you for giving your input! (And James, Jon, and Alicia for the in-class suggestions!)